*the true meaning of shizzlnas*

bailys irish eggnog

Countdown to Shackles:American Dream water torture

For the last days of December I have about 32 hours of work to do on my own time give or take. I thought I would use this time to travel my restless bones before committing to my new spirit-breaking full-time job with great benefits in the new year. Travelling is proving to be impossible. It began as a cross country road trip that fell in my lap for 10 seconds then vanished. Now with various spattered obligations, it provides the rest of the month to agonize in self-pity. Today might have been a trip to nyc to stay with a friend, but the freeze really put the brakes on my late start (excuses?). At some point this all should translate as opportunities to buy nicer gifts for my loved ones but I know my gift of happiness to myself is the greatest gift I can give them. Besides, next years long hours easy money will provide.

So I hop on airtran to check out some of the fees I see on a billboard coming in on 295, and find some great deals to West Palm Springs, Sarasota, Ft Lauderdale, Bahamas(not so great a deal). Deals that naturally expire this evening, forcing me to investigate hotels and blah blah blah. I find the perfect 4 day webspecial and get my webcart ready. Meanwhile in tab #2, I find that the weather in every part of Florida is shitty too. Not freezing but still rain.

I turn to my last webdeals option- texas. Houston. I return to tab#2 to find that there is rain and cloudiness there as well. I close all windows.

I accept its raining and shitty everywhere. Even in the blue water bahamas. My shower stall is even brimming with clogged water. It seems as though I may be prematurely beaten down by the man. Road trip to Royal Farms won't stop me!

"Turtle Soup"

So I like comedy. I went to see one of my favorite comedians perform in DC this weekend. My ma bought me his record last xmas. I listened once. I got the jokes. they were funny and unforgettable. Hence not listening again. Seeing him this time, we got the same jokes. I wanted to laugh for him. I did, because we were in the second row but I wanted to laugh for me.

Unless a bear is slapping a woman on a low budget program or a woman falls out of a bucket while stomping on grapes, or a skiier tumbles longways down the side of a mountain, or a bunch of monkeys is playing on tv and Jerri Blank is laughing, or some men on Reno 911 perform some dance steps during a routine sobriety check, I cannot expect myself to laugh more than twice at a joke. (the previous examples have failed to exhaust my funny bone)

back in the cassette age, I owned a copy of Richard Pryor live. That record I could drive around and listen too, and not laugh, but be entertained until the joke about "...turtle soup", and when he got to those words I would laugh.

correction: there were a couple jokes at the improv that got me. see the website for the "oh you'd be surprised" bit.

Find the bands

view bigger

Games magazine used to feature image quizes like this.

baby steps to blowing my mind.

I fell asleep reading an article that began, "SCIENTISTS HAVE CREATED THE FIRST MOLECULE THAT CAN MOVE IN A STRAIGHT LINE BY ITSELF ON A FLAT SURFACE BY MIMICKING HOW A PERSON WALKS" (this link only takes you to the google search of a Sci Am subscribers site, which I haven't bothered to do but you can still witness some of it.)

I kept thinking that I must not have been fully comprehending what it was trying to say because its just totally nuts. Shoot me in the head and call me an old woman because I can't deal with the reality that the molecules in my body can just walk off the job if they eventually learn to "mimick the way a person talks".

so in other walking news, but not really, just not wanting to post twice having not posted for a while-- I have been looking at some old family slides. It is blowing my mind that after thirty years of witnessing my own cute toddlertude on the wall, that I am now at the age my parents were in these pics! And while my mom was more fit than I am (after already having popped out 4 kids!) I am much more young for my age than she was. She wasn't blogging, taking retarded pictures for selfportaittuesday, and drinking alot of beajolais noveau (sp). umm.

I began thinking how the family needs have gotten so amped for much fewer kids. We had an old woodie stationwagon for a while. But we also had a VW bug, and old brown chevette, a Datsun, and a Chevy Eurosport. With the exception of our stationwagon our family never remotely owned anything SUVish. Friends I have now who are anticipating kids or have them all have Jeep Wranglers, subarus, or are trading in two-doors certainly, but sometimes sedans for hugely roomy cars as if its impossible otherwise. I guess once you have 5 kids, you can never afford to take the whole family anywhere. Don't kidseats fit in cars?

my daily bread

I have been getting my hands on a lot of cable tv. Predominantly the food network where I caught some friends in a halloween cake contest. Pretty dogonne awesome. It followed by a chocolate sculpture contest. I wasn't aware of the built-in action/suspense of moving food. Then I got sucked into the 1990 phenomenon that is so over: Iron chef. That floored me. I want to podcast this channel. I will have to check up on it. In my moment of cable tv fantasy I pictured myself against this asian cooking king and it just so happens that the magic ingredient is spinach (my specialty). He manages to make some paltry seaweed sushi wrap from it and a couple other exotic uses, but I stick with the basics: salad, sammich, stirfry, pie, burger (haven't tried this one yet).

Baltimore's Best-Written Critic's Pick:

Baltimore Flickr Exhibit and Opening

the financial speculum

We can't make any amendents. See he's not able to show you tricks.

Let me break down the 2004 penalties for you again, since I know you're a math genius.

You could've saved a lot of income tax by buying a house.

You play tennis? I can probably kick your ass.
[takes an urgent call from wife about kids soccer practice]

I like my free time [By which I meant I like autonomy.]

Are you TRYING to get any new work?

[wrapping up]
Maybe you'll find a rich husband

I prefer the lottery.

[shaking hands, concluding the visit is free cuz:]
I like you, maybe its cause you play tennis

[in my head:]
I like you too, cause you're an asshole.

And I really do. I left feeling financially flushed and rejuvinated to spank the pavement hard! I need that kind of brutal coaching. Its true, I'm not a math genius. When he starts explaining the figures to me, I look at it and my brain just goes wack until he shuts up and I nod. I have noo patience. I have taxlexia!

insanequest

a.9 maps

I haven't looked at this site for more than 20 seconds, yet I know its something I needed to post about. This is photo insanity. Not where I intend to venture.

it reminds me of the wonderful old commodore game Amnesia.

its clobbering time

I am a free agent. I switch teams(/sports) on MY terms. Its clear that I am a nonvital fairweather football player now. I got a call last Saturday requesting my presence in the threat of a forfeit($75 team penalty). "you can leave after the game starts" was my high sign. Even my mom told me to get some skin if I was gonna play with these pups. sheesh.

When I had an opportunity to join a less than JV volleyball league near me I jumped at the chance. That brings my winter league totals to over $100 not counting indoor tennis. Its cheaper and healthier than drinking right? I have devoted more than half of my free time to these team related sports. I imagined the winter would be a cold solitary photo-taking/music-playing tortured artist existence. But I guess this is really what I need. I haven't let myself dissect it.

So we got pretty crushed on our first night. s'okay, they were the best team. I thought I would impart some court wisdom. Especially since one of my largest site draws is "kickball strategy" (sorry you've come to the wrong place).

1. If you fear that you aren't able to make the play thats about to happen, (in any sense of a sport)just do SOMEthing. Flinching and standing still gives you much worse cred that hitting a ball with your boob that then hits you in the face.


2. Two is better than none. Don't try to perform a 'number 1' by saying that you thought someone else had a play. clunk heads like coconuts if necessary. again its about the cred.

by 5(where'd the cent sign go?), I really mean $50

La la la la LaLa.

When was the last time you said wow when you were listening to new music? (sounds like spam doesn't it?)

Sure, of course I said it when the Darkness came along--and I was right! Then I said it with Bloc Party, Tom Veck, and Art Brut shortly behind, but wow was not right. More like rewow. Here it goes again (via salon.com). The Nervous Cabaret website has some FREE downloads too.

Attack of the nerds

Apparently there was a hack at the alternative weekly website.

I didn't see this. I don't know what it entails (to be hacked), but I do know that the disturbing replacement image has a very bizarrehistory. Courtesy goes to the ever-sleuthing exroomate boyfriend.

Excellence in classic cultural reinterpretation

Heard this weekend on npr: The Shining redux, "...a heartwarming story about a family's journey of self-discovery".

From the roomate: Yacht Rock, an inside look at the music making behind Kenny Loggins, smooth rock loyalty, and Caddyshack.

Andditonal link:
From CP staff: Warning your newly installed software just gave you breast cancer

blogblues

A few things have got me in blogblues besides the fact that I am freelance full throttle.

First, the news since I have had my blog has seemed like a T.C.Boyle novel about the future we will suffer through. It makes it hard to enjoy writing about my average entry bout trivial crap. I could really expound upon this point. but I get the feeling its going on blogwide, if I could catch up in blogland.

Second, the blog spamming is really a downer. I don't get a lot of feedback but nothing seems more depressing than a comment from "gas tips". It makes all my efforts seem exceptionally transparent. and it feels like trespassing! Stop it. anyone know how? Aside from turning off comments.

Lastly, I had a vision of a future third grade assignment that went something like this:
Go home and hop onto the googleweb and research dead relatives blogs for some information about your familys history.

eery. got me a new camera. a loner. a rebel. stay tuned.

Colonel Panic

Friday I made an online appointment at the Apple store, that had me booked in 1/2 hour-hardly enough time to speed up charles and fight for a spot at the TTC. I took a seat at the genius bar among 2 other gentleman eager to unload their CPU problems on me. I never so much wished I owned an ipod. I began opening my sad lappyG4 when genius #1 asked me if I had made an appointment. I told him I did. I waited as the white technology began to woo me and make me sick all at the same time.

I am not able to articulate problems with my car or computer like callers from Car Talk. I think it often leads to misdiagnoses for me and my stuff. I explained to the genius I was working with that I had a "stream of black squares and strings of commands and I thought it was my video card". (I didn't really think it was that, but I ran it by someone else who did--another tactic I use at the mechanic, suggestions so they think I am more informed than I am.)

Genius told me that I was getting what is known as kernel panic. He showed me how to check this in my console. Its like a blackbox for system crashes, you know the kind you aren't supposed to have in system 10? Of course, all I see is the complete text that runs down my screen minus all the little black squares, so that I still feel like I am translating some code that might come from an episode of Lost. Genius 1 and 2 ran some disk and concurred that this must be the cause of a display I was using and not to use it anymore. That was the 2 hour solution.

They also informed me that the cosmetic damage from dropping it some 8 months ago (with no other signs of damage), has most likely rendered not under warranty anymore. applecare doesn't get my endorsement.

Finally I was going to tie this boring computer story with an interview experience I had last week in which I choked. Choked like gullet-blocking huge chunk of mozzarella. the good authentic white imported italian stuff. whatever right?

Never too late

what a wonderful, brilliant, inspiring, enviable profile.

Written for even the stupidest of horses

authentic charcoal with photoshop magic and internet barn and farmhouse


I was going to start the post with some comments on the big buckarooni digital cameras I held this weekend at Service Photo. I was going to include the 360 degree image of the one I want handsdown over the rest, but I took a look at my last few posts and feel that I should speculate elsewheres for a moment. Even if I have more tales (and tshirts in the making) for the deleteme group.

I got around to reading Animal Farm, oh, about 12 years after I wanted to. It makes me so mad that I wait to read these classics and miss ages of references and ideas and great characters like the one that inspired me to do this nerdy charcoal drawing. Can I get paid to be a ninth grade english student?

uh

look at that beautiful navigation.


Hampdenfest makes frequent taggage!


Deleteme group=flickr equivalent of American Idol


see the photo here.

photographic leaps and bounds

BOB photo IMO photo by Frank Klein.
runner up photo.

I cannot begin to catch up on the photo news in flickr and real life. I am presently in the midst of gettting quickly cut down to size in the Deleteme group. Brutal comments. I love them. However it is on my strongest photo. but what the hey- it scored me 100 extra views.

Last night I met a couple of professional photographers who showed me some keen tricks with my digital, but none of them wanted anything to do with flickr. This was disappointing to me. This weekend when I was in the bookstore, I was cruising the magazines and I stopped to look at a photo mag, and realized that pretentious technical bullshit isn't exciting. Its actually the tool itself, the massive size, and the organization that have all breathed life back into photography for me again in a most obsessive form.

sick competition

Fall football is back in swing with a team that has doubled in size. I began the season regreeting all the old members and trying to calm some of the new female players with funny stories at my athletic expense. That was not a good idea. It made it seem like I wasn't trying when I got dusted 2x for a touchdown by a girl with an evident sports injury. I am a firm believer that confidence and taking yourself seriously in sports is essential. I can tell thats where I am different from my teammates and why I will quickly advance as the reputation of third-string-veteran-sister-of-the-captain player. It is also why people who aren't as good at me in tennis win. Its not that I am not competitive. I hate losing. I hate being serious. I'm not sure what the season holds or if I will hold out.

Here is an email from of our new star division 1 Basketball/soccer and rugby player before the season began addressed to the QB ad the whole team:

Gimme some background -
new gender plays makes the girls crucial - do we split time or are we trying to win?
My Sobo team is die hard - so give me some background - so i can get on the [team name's] page!
[Team Captain] - ill pass on the email to [another new division 1 track and basketball player with hightop cleats] - she's pretty sick athlete so we stoked!

another case of the mistaken identity

I am listening to a radio show on KCRW when I should be packing, about Michael Penn, who in my mind has shared the same little honeycomb of an information cell block as Michael W. Smith- and wrongfully so. He is an excellent songwriter that reminds me of George Harrison. He also scored the Comedians of Comedy. bonus points. Thats when this book came rushing back to me.

Anyway. Michael W. Smith is also a musician(Christian) who thrived largely in the 80's, but at some point fell hard to drugs,sex, sin, and even rock and roll. This made him a good candidate to write a book for teens. Or so my mom thought so. I read this and reread this for a good couple weeks. I would read it at the kitchen table and just put it in front of my face so that my family couldn't read my expression from the sometimes overboard descriptions he went on in discouraging young readers from becoming sex-addicted drug-users.

back to boston

Headed to Salem MA with my old preggers friend H to see my old bud J get the hitch. This isn't the first time I've done some serious travelling with a pregnant lady (Chicago, Cabrini Green 1997). It involves a lot of solo drinking and bag carrying. We'll hit up the Witch and Pirate Museum so I can properly investigate all my halloween and life options. I can see me with a job like the fellow here hiding behind a boat.

keep moving

I wasn't ready for some football circa 1982

I really like how I drew my dads nostrils.

POI

T33n G1rl Squad 9 | T33n G1rl Squad 9.2 | T33n G1rl Squad 9.3 | Katrina(via boingboing) | Nabbing Perverts 1(via CP) | Nabbing Perverts 2

crabbage

Been doing a lot of baltimore history research lately. Somehow that brought me to the L.P. Steamers website where I found this fun unappetizing page demonstrating how to eat a crab. I just ate some crabs. I don't use any tools when I eat, as these pics show. Some people opt to open seperate the hood with the knife and do all kinds of fancy taps. I like the second step:

Sometimes, you get lucky and some crab meat pulls out with them. Just enjoy it.

Isn't it one of the few meals you gamble with?

scribble 2

Verizon DMVsl

[hawking wireless from neighbor c]

Verizon DSL is sooo terrible, dear people searching the internet wondering whether they should get hi speed comcast cable or verizon DSL. I don't know for sure that comcast doesn't equally suck, but I made the choice based on the premise that cable is a shared service by all the people in an area, so there are periods of slow down. However my conversation with the billing customer service rep at Verizon won points for lowest corporate customer satisfaction of all times.

I tried to explain that I had spent countless hours on the phone with both mac and pc incompetant tech support and that it was draining my cell phone usage. She kept insisting that she couldn't refund my money. "i'm not asking you for a refund. I am asking for a little understanding". Then she said she would be able to provide a refund for the days that we weren't receiving service--so long as I called to tell them when it was up and running. She could look back as far as January to detect when we were without service."So why do I have to call you when you have such accurate records?". "Do you know any company that would just credit service back to your account without you telling them?"

She actually said that. And shes right. I could think of 2 places. The IRS, and your opponent in Monopoly when they have landed on your property and you are unwittingly watching a commercial and start to roll the dice.

Dem Bones

After 4 hours of tennis on wednesday my knees had something to say about it. I've never really experienced any kind of joint grief from a sports injury, but its that nagging pain that gets me in a bad mood.

My beloved fiesty maternal grandmother(and family) used to have serious knee problems. My younger brother and I would be in the backseat waiting while my mom would have to assist her into the car groaning. She would teeter on the first leg and then settle in and lift the other one in with her arms. At the time, we were too bratty to be empathetic. We thought the dramatic sound of it all was kind of funny. It wasn't, but it was funny when it happened to me yesterday. But it won't be funny again in 30 years.

scribble 1

notice the eyeball is a speakbubble.

memento

last night as I was going to bed, before having a really rotten nightmare about a being lost at a paper mill cult camp, I had an idea for my blog. A little brilliance at twilight that I decided to write on my hand for the next morning. And continued to think about it and build on it in the darkness looking at my ceiling. Then I panicked that in the early morning rush I would wash it away, and forget about it so I took this picture, to remind me. I know it has something to do with ripping off Nolen(as if I know him)s blog and being drunk. But now when I look at the true vagueness of it, I wish I would have forgotten it and imagined it as another version of one of my very thought out plans down the tube.

Points of Interest

When I first read about Aristocrats, I was excited they were redoing the Disney movie that combined the '101 Dalmations and Lady and the Tramp for cats', into people- featuring Phyllis Diller. What a dream! But then I read further and remembered reading about this in Vanity Fair. Comedy Club after hours were devoted to the long dirty joke that had the punchline, "we're the Aristocrats!". And thats what its about, and sounds equally enjoyable.

In other comedy news: Perry Bible hits the Comedy Central website!

In other comedy news: this guy is taking votes on a tshirt.

In other tshirt news: this guy, and this guy

In comedy and music download news: Don Quiuotes Marijuana

In baltimore and music news: Baltimore club musicmakes its way to San fran, naturally with some white indie person mentions.

In music news: I've finally uploaded my online summer playlist complete with beautiful built in css after being reminded by the stupid haiku contest today.

The calm after the gorilla

I really should have given this shot a whole day before I began uploading new shots in my photostream. It was getting a steady dose of comments and faves and I pushed it back. It could have maybe received interestingness fame!

The shows over. Back to life. Back to reality. Back to the here and now of whatever they say. They went well. They went bad (bladder control issue, but hey its a pool!)but the show left me reminiscent. I haven't had this feeling for a long time, maybe since graduating from college or high school. Rewards for stresses, relief plus congratulations, plus new friends and saying good-bye and exchanging emails.

"Twas this the wake-up call to get me out of the ever un-appreciative stressball world of advertising where no person is your friend unless you work late and weekends and opt out of other stress-inducing (but ultimately rewarding) projects to save yourself a little sanity?", says the tiny growing bump on my neck.

"Maybe this time!", I say.

It felt good to be involved with a project that gave creative licenses to so many people with everyone being able to share a common goal. It wasn't hard but it was a lot of work and I did resent(sp?) it more than a couple times. I wish I could manage to pull this kind of working together environment in other parts of my life. Clear goals are usually the hardest thing (for me) to determine. Thats why its hard to build.stuff.

I didn't think I was going to be able to accomplish the scheduling, tasks, stress (I am really a performance stresser)- but I did. And that felt g-reat. really great. Especially with so many projects that just dissipate and dissapoint-like the comic book split. So I shall move forward with the FM momentum. Next baby step- a photo exhibit! flickr group photo exhibit!! Very exciting. It seems promising.

Last thing in this huge entry. One of the FMers (and flickrers) moved down from nyc to be with his girlfriend and it didn't work out. He had been a Brooklyn resident for so long. His comment of Bmore was so true, "Baltimore is so easy. If you want to do something you can. You can do it and nobody is stopping you even the people who are maybe trying to do what you are". That was an inspiring reminder.

The gorilla in the storm

Last night's performance was stopped early.
Excerpt running for cover of the lobby:

sync swimmer 1 to sync swimmer 2: So did they like your scene? Was there thunderous applause?
maid of the mist: There was thunder!
Then the sky ruptured in the form of a bass drum snare and high hat crash.

The show was called at the cue during "Singing in the Rain", 'Let the stormy clouds chase'. Community theatre-so good, you can't get it on cable.
Check for pics here. More to come.

The worst is the best of flickr

Do your worst face photos. My First place and second place pics. I can always rely on such simple brilliance from Canadians. Some of these people aren't trying hard enough. Ugly faces have to be intense. I think they figure- if they're ugly face isn't that ugly, than others will think they are just too good-looking to be able to make an ugly face.

I think I could do a really good one. I just don't want it to be in my photostream. I mean, I just started a set called, League of Extraordinarily Hot Men. How would that look?

Points of Interest

Last night I caught the tail end of the PBS show Guns, Germs, and Steel. Good Stuff. If I feel guilty for the behavior of my white colonizing people, how did they feel?

Mr. Wrong needs to foster the songs of a fledgling punk band with sentiments like: You think I got time to sit around and figure out about going bankrupt while I’m busy trying to earn a living out here? Huh? You know, to support my Grocery habit?

Emailed pics

Watermelon carving contest:


One of the Best Women Drivers:

decisionless

I have been encountering a plethora( my bros favorite SAT word) of irration towards the friends-with babies sets. I am starting to not take all the blame in my feelings that their lives are chafing my biological time clock and my video game playing lifestyle like a 25km katamari.

example 1:
Friend(s) who I haven't talked to in a loooong time (no blaming) call to tell me that they are having a baby.
I am genuinely excited. If I am not able to muster up a satisfiable gush in the 2 minutes of the 2 hours that have been set aside to call up all the long lost friends since venturing into the couple cave- I hope they forgive me. It seems they are disappointed by my reaction since I am not able to reach their level of excitement. Meanwhile, I am reminded that the friendship has died a bit. After the phone call I will fondly picture the friend (and how they can't even take care of their dog or keep their room clean) with newborn baby, and think, "Great for them. This will be a wonderful learning experience for them." But DONT ask me to engage in that sudden moment. Sorry. Its how my emotions work. They need a bit of foreplay.

For instance, if I am involved with a Fluid Movement performance, oh say in 9 months(actually 1), is it okay if I go to my dusty old address book wherever it is and call up everyone and devise some witty way to break the news? Yes it is. ok. well thats a bad comparison.

example 2:
After reading eebmore's funny post about vegetarians I was reminded of the comparison (geesh I compare a lot) I like to make of meateaters to smokers. They both tend to feel that the nonsmoker and vegger are passing judgement.They respond defensively or proudly to their decisions or secretly laugh among themselves at the others sensitivities. Deep down I bet my vegger friends think I am a stinky savage who can't resist bacon- as I think of my smoker friends.

This seems to happen with kids.Only its so much bigger of a choice. I was just reading the Mobtown Shank and saw an event for the Rock-n-Romp that said "No Childless", which made me feel like the wife of Abraham or whoever, as I read it. Like I was rendered choiceless in the matter PLUS I am excluded. I am sure it was an issue related to word-trimming but still, be nice to me or I will teach your child really dirty words people!

Now back to rolling up as many maidens as I possibly can.

double monkey duty

Photo courtesy flickr- WysG

Back on the flickr wagon. I have been indulging my trivial addictions, the newest being a Japanese playstation game called Katamari Damaci, which I have read and heard much about. So after I complete a level (or don't) I come into my computer room and check the comments panels I have made and received, my contacts photos, and my photo hits, then go back to the PS2 for another eye-riddling round of building up my ball. It feels soooo bad(in the good way) to behave like this. But here is the worse part:

This weekend during the thunderstorm, I was slated- even excited to attend a friends outdoor crab feast. I had just bought the game the night before, along with $10 worth of potato salad. I didn't make it to the crabfeast. Do you know where I am going with this story? thats right 5 hours and 5 lbs. more on the delightful game later.


but for now- look where my photo landed!

blogr -has pics now!

Its not the heat. its the humanity.

I didn't want to discuss my road rage tales, but I am going to expound a bit. Ive had a couple incidences where I have been glaring directly at other drivers mugs and articulating some ugly words. Its embarrassing. Today. In towson, the fury bore a wordy name, that had me laughing before I finished delivering it: "bag of dwarks on the back of a monkey". Some efforts to curb. suggestions?? walking? Driving with my grandmother at rush hour? Critical mass? no thats senseless.

I watched two guys working at Firestone catch a little hell from each other. The air conditioner wasn't working all that well and it was busy and of course a half and hour before they closed. Thats when I remembered something I learned over a discussion about the rise of the crime rate in Bmore in spring/summer. Apparently, in the movie that everyone else has seen; Do the Right Thing, they have a theory that when the weather goes up everybody gets riled up for a fight.

I just had a little revisionist history example about the Wild West, but it sounded like I was trying to be Chris Rock so. yeah. summertime.

flicker once. I turn my camera on.

I am going to spare you the my tale of road rage. They should never be told. Its a moment of private fury and don't deserve to be wasted on the internet or cellular phone convos. Even if they do involve screaming that someone is an 'a-fark'.

I recently wondered over this blog entry about winking. I didn't find it by searching for flicker if you happen to read it. I like the art of winking. It seems like a wise persons gesture. When storytelling.

I worry I am losing that flickr feeling. I went out with the camera the last 2 days and haven't had the fever for the flash. Even when I saw a crab painted with the face of William Donald Schaeffer. Just kinda, "ehh. I could take a picture. But its really not going to seem that interesting". My mom sent me this photo link that I was going to post but I decided it was too heinous to ever return to my blog.

In music relay: I did not win a shiny new ipod for my summer playlist but I will post it nonetheless. I was mostly hoping for the opportunity to call this, 'the blog that wins stuff except for lottery tickets'.

The word 'ideology' is just a cheap electric blanket from walmart

I was going to reserve comments on the events of the day, but Verizon has managed to render me powerless to work once again in its monster-size capacity to be unhelpful.

I just want to reiterate the comment of a caller on the Diane Rehms show this morning that really needs to be broadcasted at the same rate as the Presidents confusing sentiments have been aired. The message was a reminder to all people to not link this "ideology" to islamic faiths or people. These terrorist groups pervert it for their message. this is way less articulate than he stated it. Go check it out.

Last point. NPR should really just not play music between segments. Silence is stronger amidst saturation. Not a instrumental rendition of "is that all there is?"

Barbarianism aids technological advancement

I was reading the special Financial Times report on the international status of stem cell research in Scientific American. Besides the disturbing future of business (Financial Times) and biotech, I read this, here:

...But the Chinese scene is still dominated by adult stem cell work. "There is a very significant focus on clinical translation, which is much more palatable in China than in the US or Europe", says Stephen Minger of King's College London. "Treatments will be pushed ahead more quickly than in the West".

A colourful example is Jianhong Zhu of Huashan Hospital, part of Shanghai's Fudan University. He is working with adult neural stem cells, extracted from brain tissues exposed in patients who suffer open head wounds. (A classic local example is the "chopstick injury", in which a barbed bamboo chopstick is pushed--usually through an eye socket--into the head during an argument over a meal; when the stick is removed, enough brain tissue sticks to it to be a source of neural stem cells.) Zhu has obtained encouraging results from a clinical trial in which eight such patients had their own neural stem cells cultured and transplanted back into the site of their injury; they fared significantly better than eight matched controls who had open brain surgery but no cell grafting.

Is anything else spangled?

In these moments of heightened patriotism, amidst the retiring of Justice O'Conner, let's not forget the reason we celebrate this country, this flag, this freedom of blog and Sangria, by listening to the sage words of Roman Maronie from Johnnie Dangerously.

My most rated R entry ever (R for gruesome pervs!)

Last night I had a rough dream after being so frustrated with work and my disappeared entry.

[dream]
I was preparing to meet a person who I have not seen in a long time due to conflicting emotions, drama, etc. You get the idea. It was for a real party that is happening this weekend and I was going through the usual ritual of pulling together my best duds, self-esteem, and crab dip.

I wake up the morning of the event, with a very curious condition. I had a long piece of noodly-flesh extending from the corner of my inner eyeball. It was about 2 feet long. I wasn't freaked out. I thought, oh one of these, and I went to pull it, but it yanked the skin around it and it was sensitive. I thought that I probably shouldn't cut it off because, a. it might hurt, and b. cutting off those little skin tags can cause cancer, so I tuck it behind my ear, and rearrange my hair to shadow it a little bit. I also thought it was a good idea to have some wine before I arrive, to mellow a bit.

Well before long I am at the party, with my wine tucked in a trenchcoat (so much for cute duds!), a little hammered and people are NOT responding lightly to my eye-noodle, even tucked behind my ear all casual-like. So I start to sketch out a bit, and only look down and let my hair fall in front of my face when said person arrives. He is drinking a fruit smoothy and has just come from the gym!

I think we talk at some point, and he seems unphased by my noodle, but nothing exciting beyond that. [/dream]
how funny my issues.

how come all the ironic things happen at midnight?

I gotta go to bed. I know I won't write it again- (just got lost when I shifted and appled and hit the Q) later. Its the universe's way of telling me to shut up. or not share.

Peace blogland. I leave you with this simple message: Revenge of the Sith is Awethome!

It's not a habit, it's cool I feel alive

okay. its not cool. I am blogging about activity on another website! AND cat photos. I need help. HElp? Symptoms include abuse of exclamation points in comment areas and elsewhere.

but here's the last. for a while. I promise. its cracking my shtine up! Don't forget to see styro's comment. HA!

More Reasons I HEART Flickr.

+ this group can happen. Please notice the crow.

+ You can make up any topic you want. (please join!)

+ Then I joined this group where I found a discussion topic that matched my sentiment completely:
I feel my whole(life) I have been searching for you, bad sign group

+ I think I need to join this group.

Stay tuned for the hopefully-award winning summer playlist.

Fire, Firefoxes, & Flickr- the new fotohut

Successful weekend of BBQing. One day, I will be able to man my own fire. When I light it, I have such an accurate vision of being engulfed by flames that I just throw matches into the grill and turn my head. Neither a safe or effective approach.

I have become a severe Flickr addict. Its such a bizarre website to me. I am working my way around it okay but after a bizillion hours I still click on "home" when where I really want to be is "photos". I love choosing favorite pics by other people. I go through photostreams, and suddenly, I see the one, magic composition, and I know. "ahh.[click + to faves]". It's more gratifying than those shopping magazines. Plus some of the comments are very hilarious from people giving unwanted constructive criticism, to inaccurately pointing out things in a photo.

Unfortunately, I use Safari, and Flickr doesn't like it. It shuts me down in swirling vortex mode. I am considering Firefox. I hear its great, but I really hate changing browsers. I'm a stubborn surfer. Any user comments on it?

theres no place like blogspot or typepad

I have recently subscribed to bloglines and I have been lurking on the Blogtimore website and while they both offer up convenience, they take away from the reading experience of going to that blog website. You know getting out of the house. My biggest gripe is that it doesn't seem to feature pictures and I am reading a passage about a picture and I am struggling to understand. And all that pretentious CSS! Geesh!

I have to compare the experience of going to a mall verses hanging out at a friends house. I like to go to Anonymous Coworker's strangely furnished green office space or to eebmore's yellow Mnt. Vernon Apartment that is always being rearranged, or Atomic Book's little store that is so clean and cute that I had to rip it off for myself.

Are we not festival guys?

DEVO kicks off their 2005 tour. Photo courtesy Flickr: Eskimo.

Atlanta was experiencing a bit of hurrican Arlene, so I was unable to document any of the shows via pics. Dev0, Pixie$, and White $tripes were good. I am not a festival person- even if its not raining. I did get to see many varieties of "festival guy" [picture this Lulu eightball-style]. they include:

•peaceful guy who likes to rock his face off in the sun drinking until he passes out.
•Festival girl who likes to use her "woo-hoo" rally cry alot and has dried-up dirt all over her legs.
•Festival bro. he's everybodys friend. is a fan of EVERY kind of music and tries to hippy dance with you.
•Endearing mega-fan who is in the front row with his mom wearing a dry-rot t-shirt of the band, catalogging all the songs in his mind. He also sings really loud. he is best to be near for his positive ampage.
•fratface festival dude who has no idea who the band is, but notes the quality of the crowd for some excellent head-kicking while surfing. He always stands behind me with his buds who have a pvc pole with a mast of underwear to be located by. (After the first go up, I turned around in my clear rain poncho with the ferocity of, what I could tell in his eyes, his mother about to beat him for the first time in his tender 19 year old life. I asked if he even knew who the band was. He said yes but the crew disappeared.)
•Can't take it no mo' aging rock fan who can't handle the above types and wishes that some bands won't do an encore in order to move back and get another $lushy so they give pitiful claps.

I prefer to be in my room listening to the record being an annoying combination of all of them.

Points of Interest

I didn't even know that legistlation like this could get passed! It seems like it could really open up the bohemian floodgates.

White $tripes on Fresh Air discuss Loretta Lynn, adopting other musical styles, and God. Jack seems like a truly tapped in creative genius. So that if I were to draw a comparison of the BJM and Dandy Warhols being at polar ends on a spectrum- he would be in the middle, fighting his demons, fighting bad luck, and coming out on top. Now thats what I call well-adjusted.

Now enough music-related posts for a while. Off to Atlanta.

D1G

Momentary 3 bars on the dsl connection prompts me to squeeze this entry in:

After reading this entry, and speaking with a number of people who have seen the documentary, I decided I needed to see what about it was evoking so much hatred or enjoyment. I have recently been getting into BJM through one of their greatest fans, and we both watched it last night. I usually fall asleep within 10 minutes of a movie, but I had that 2 DVD zombie action on.

I did have to stop myself somewhere in the second window full of extra footage. I thought the documentary was done pretty well. I have to wonder how this 23 year-old director could have such foresight to know that such a divide and different path would develop. I mean to capture all these quintessential moments on film- like BOTH moments when EACH songwriter shared that very private moment of screening the album in the car for the other. She had to be riding somebodys shotgun, ya know? And if thats the case, then she is probably out to paint some people in a certain light- even if its years gone by. Either way. Amazing. I'm glad she was there.

Anyway you can see its won them a link. Free music with a option to support. Is that not what I was just talking about yesterday?

Verizon DSL

So I have this internet service provider named Verizon DSL. Every coupla months or so our modem and/or wireless router act up. I go through the process of unplugging and waiting and rebooting and restarting and all the steps they tell you while you wait to speak to "REPRESENTATIVE" (I always yell it right away at the automated voice response lady).

Well its time. It may be a coincidence that it happened right after a series of power outages. It may be a coincidence that my housemate has just unloaded a shitload of bands cds and junk right into the corner on top of the cords and stuff. Either way it no worky and it makes me very very mad.

I get on the line last night with the tech support person who is reading from an outline that I could write. I know exactly what he's going to ask me, and I know I am being the bitchiest person on the planet when I speak to him but thats only because I know in the series of questions they will always return to the same farking questions.

A part of me has some remorse for this customer service agent, because I too have worked CS in so many places, that I feel entitled to act bitchy to someone who is not definitively helping me or giving me some course of action- instead of waiting for me to leave or hang-up. In my CS days, I am sure I had the table turned where I thought, "I am getting paid $5 an hour and I know this woman is a bitch and I am going to intentionally piss her off". I have even been called a bitch before when I worked in coffee- that one I believe was undeserved.

When my troubleshooting buddy asked me for the fifth time if I have any filters or phonelines in use because our line indicated some interference. I moved toward apeshit. I said, "I am going to tell you this one more time, we haven't done ANYTHING different from yesterday when everyone one of our operating systems worked beautifully. Do NOT ask me that question again. Got it?"

He did get it for a while. He put me on hold to process the order. He was so darned polite. He apologized for the waiting and all and I mentioned that it was okay cause I was just designing a website. We then got into a friendly conversation about how great style sheets were.

until dsl.d

How to successfully market your product- music.

Audiofile has announced a great musical internet competition- a legal mp3 summertime playlist. The prizes aren't slouchy either. I have already started collecting some music from these guys who have managed to post some mp3s online. Record sales tip: Free mp3s turn into 80% of my music purchases they leave me hungry for more- uh its like what radio used to do! Does anyone disagree? Why are all these bands so stingy, pretentious, and repressed? (ouchies!)

In other news, I'd like to thank to all the sissies who freaked out on the first day of hot weather and cranked up the ACs. I freelanced today and I finally had to cut out after the guilt of developing sitcom ideas and learning artillery names with some of the creative team for an hour after the power was out. I walked home to my sweltering apartment where- surprise! also no electricity. First I don't get paid. Then I am left sweating. Rotten eggs! They called me back a couple hours later- back in biz.

Did you just call my midget friend Shorty?

I just checked my movie source to see what this bootlegged movie I picked up at D.E. Jones for $1 was all about. I was reviewing it to see if it was worthy of the sidewalk sale. Heck no!

Of course, not if you go by the review- it calls this 1980 release of movie trailers a stinker. I dunno maybe its because I should be working, but I think this is hilarious, almost on par with the untouchable funniness of Strangers with Candy!

It gives Bi11 Murray top-billing, but he only appears once I think. Howard Hessemen had a not so funny skit, but an incredibly gut-wrenching gag. And you can't forget Buddy Hacket. I asked my mom for a video of his one christmas and it just never amounted to his performance in A Mad(3x), World, and the thing I originally loved him for, the driver in the snapple commercials. He had a great zing face.

Some memorable scenes include: Ma and Pa take their talking pig, Francis to New York. A western where a stranger with something mysterious clenched between his fingers rides into a town full of Hindus who believe that the cow and the cowboy are sacred. "welcome to bacon county", "billy jerk goes to oz", and naturally the title-revealing skit "Dark Town After Dark", which was later picked up for a musicians album title, but I don't want to spoil the joke.

file under > file

I have recently become aware of some strange filing systems I have. Back in the days before I stored errything on my computer. I had a reallly ugly metal 2 door filing cabinet that managed to hurt me each time I walked by it or opened it (sharp metal edge). Occasionally I would get something I wouldn't know where to put it, so I created a manilla tab called "future". Things like my Southwest application to be a flight attendant, my international courier info packet, and my USTA official guidelines went in it. It always looked funny against my "insurance", "banking", and "scams" folders.

Nowdays, these manilla tabs have been reconstructed in the form of Mailbox subfolders. I have one called "Receipts". Naturally, all my online purchases go in there as well as new registrations to websites. In addition, my email has become the forum of some very heavy emotional discussions lately. And I get tired of looking at them as my last received email, so they too make their way into "Receipts".

By the way I have never met the Walkm3n. I am confusing them.

The shield does not shine bright today.

My hands smell like a dirty dish sponge and I can't get rid of it.

I think I am going back to bed.

simple playsures

Today I was listening to my party shuffle while wielding my new sword at work, and 3 of my favorite tunes came on secessively(?), you know, in order:

1. Wilc0- "I'm a wh33l"
2. Walkm3n- "W3'v3 b33n had"
3. Sl0an-"Iggy N Angus"

And I get so excited when number 2 comes on, as if its not in my power to play it over and over as I oft do with new favorites. I highly recommend this one- not for it's good sad-song value, but for the singers ability to reflect on his life maturely and make fun of himself (in lyric) while sounding like a harlequin in a music box. See me age 19 with some dumb haircut from 19...60.* I know the music is going to wear out on me before the words. I met these guys some time back and was unfamiliar with their work thank goodness, or else it would have been a repeat performance of the time I met some post-pavement dudes, that went like:
[introduction]
him:"how ya doing?"
me:"you too"**

* sorry for quoting lyrics. I think its really annoying.
**sorry for unabashedly name-dropping and being so semi-star strucked. ITS really annoying.

They are making a sword for me with an engraving "CSS=BFF"

thats right. I went down to Chinatown (uhh, in another city) to a little-known shop where this nice varekai or samurai (some kind of Asian warrior) made me run up and down a lot of stairs and punch concrete and eat strained hashish and seaweed until my brain could understand that making a clean web page is not a thing to fear. In fact the old ways (*tables*) are a headache and take you away from your chi (*divs* or cheeba-cheeba). Granted, I am no P class="assassin", but I am not afraid to look at it.

agility, fragility, and humility

Today, I modified an entry for this event, coming to Baltimore.


NY Times reviews a Maryland-based blog that handles confessional postcard art. its seems somewhat contrived, but I looked at every piece anyway.


Brian Greene puts in his two cents in on "This I believe". He describes the potential for learning (math and science) to be one that can be emotionally rewarding. what a guy.

When musical worlds collide.

members of Sloan + Geddy Lee of Rush or Sean Penn?

So I am not getting much work done.

All in my header

For three days I have been trying to get started on the coding of a website I have designed. I simply CAN-NOT get started even when there are no BBQs, events to DJ, or people's asses to kick and get kicked by in tennis. I have even sat out on the porch and tried to think up motivators. they have so far included:

coffee
cleaning up work area
closing the curtains to block the sun
looking at my tax forms from 2004 (the scare tactic)
making an outline to break down the work that made things look easy: I. header. II. columns.


I have partial reservations about using (and simultaneously learning) ImageReady to create navigation. Its also just been so damn long- and all this new stuff. css. ssi. csi. php. asp. The thing thats really knocking me down, is that I can't even put a picture up on my own blog header - damn template! After I cut through the overwhelmingness, I know I will find it is not half as frustrating as building it up for 3 days. It's going to happen. NOW!

The sith senth

So I hear so many mixed reviews about Star Wahs. I am still waiting for all the Super Nerds to evacuate before I attempt to enter the theatres, but I WILL be excited. Excited by the mere fact that this is a mega movie, that is ending in the middle. Hello people?? excitement. Natalie Portman is Carrie Fisher's mom yo! Thats so matrix!

At work, I was shown the latest in galactic guessing games - Challenge Vader where he finds the object you are thinking of using his Jedi wisdom and some burger king food in < 20 qs. Someone tried to get Vader to guess a condom. His response was: "Is it a Perogie?"

Is that your final answer Vader?

catploitation

Last night I stayed up later than I should have drawing a comic about the football playoffs. It was a very amped up and emotional day. 20 panels later, I prepare to go to bed when some after-party activity starts happening for the housemate. I cover my head with pillows, but 4 restless hours later, the kitty litter pan smell has finally stirred me out of my slumber. I lean up to check the damage but my hand lands in cold mush.

yes. so it was okay to feed cats milk in the 80's but not anymore. Puke followed onto the Vanity Fair article (that I didn't finish) about the New York Times writer who was fired. I was so peeved and paranoid that animals are out to get me. I carefully listened to every internal kitty noise while I burned a candle and tried to catch some zs at 4:30 a.m.

Tonight, it happened again when the housemate greeted the cat. He started convulsing so I put him on the floor. It was violent and brief. He seems fine. But I found a bee-bee? I hope he's okay.

At least he hasn't put the knife to me yet.

Episode 2s are always attack of the clones

For my 18th birthday, my friends decided that I was pathetically lonely and they got me a full grown cat for my birthday without asking me, before unloading me at a surprise family birthday party when they told me we were going dancing. I was no doubt really pissed at my friends for years. They rescued him from a lesbian couple (thats the only explanation I ever got), and I always felt like we would always be a couple.

Then, my family line up took a big change and my mom, baby brother, and second oldest sister were all forced to seperate. I had to move in with my stepgrandmother, and was unable to take Alphie with me. I felt like such a bad mommy. I never chose to have a cat, so I tried to absolve myself of the guilt of seperating from him. My mom and I both agreed that my dad could make up for some lost child support checks (my dads a good guy). So then dad inherited him, and little clawless alfie became a dirt-rolling Carroll County country cat.

This week I brought Alphie to live with me while my dad is on vacation. He spent his first 4 hours under my bed. Now he is sleeping next to me on the sofa. We just watched StarWahs 2. Just like in the good old days.

Lets open up a restaurant in Santa fe

This week our kitchen has been a massive manufacturing zone. No pics available due to impatient consumption. but heres the run down of foods I made:

••• breaded garlic pork chops with rosemary topped with my Nan's famous peach jam, featuring lima beans with parm risotto and french fries c/o frozen bag.

••• tabouleh salad with fresh lemons + my highly coveted lemon cooking oil, crushed coriander (c/o housemate pantry) parsley red onion, and tomato. Featuring Chohula sauce and 6 month old crushed up corn chips.

••• Turkey burgers (on the grill) marinated with bacon bits, dill and garlic oil, topped with avocado and my Nan's famous sweet pickles and onions (can't get enough dill), served with a side of nothing.

Housemate made:
••• Huevos rancheros- fried tomatillos+sauce, refried beans, lime, avocado, heated tortillas, topped with fried egg, and spicy homemade tots.

•••Turkey burgers (on the grill) marinated with ginger and lemon? topped with pineapple and some hot tomato sauce on a kaiser. Pressed in the sandwich press with some tots.

•••Blackened chicken tits (he likes to call them), with old bay cayenne and something else he will get mad if I tell. with some tots.

Its really fun grilling. I love watching the flame. Its kind of like watching the ocean. I guess thats what the midwesterners do for some peace in the nature.

Le Grand Chapiteau

Last Night, the Vegas Crew scored yet another batch of free tickets to see another Cirque du Soleil performance. This time- Varekai for the dress performance. It was very entertaining and it will be here all month. I highly recommend it for all its ball crushing acts, and all the children during intermission who get wild trying to perform. Its also canadian and french. so its oí culture bon ami.

Lord of the Fruit Boots

dear makers of the Dog Brothers of Z Town,
I saw the first documentary, how your upper-class suburban boredom brought about skateboarding from surfing. Maybe I saw the follow-up-- Gleaming the Tube, or Follow the Liquid, the one with all the footage and stills set to hip music. But the Stacy Peralta story?! Please cut it out after this.

My tweens into twenties were spent trying to demystify skateboarders.

Dear Tweeners,
Don't fall victim to the crush on "a boy who is doing something I can watch" syndrome, like the girls in this picture.

Sincerely,
SkateBetty Wisenstein

blost

The best children's book

Today I went to hit all my usual sites and I noticed the blog I use as my blogroll has removed its columns of blogs in favor of a Star Wars ad. I don't know how to access the things I read. I am surfing around in a fog of blog.

I also became acquainted with the handsome website of technorati. It's the pefect mix of pro-blogging and yet another device in my wicked-searchability powers. I will be learning about the curious tag tag:*.

Salon posts a ridicoulous story about Chapelle and the tragedy of comedy + drugs. Maybe it bothers me because someday I will be on my deathbed embittered because I never aspired to do stand up, and instead did too many drugs. I even heard yesterday that he's just visiting a friend and people are sweating his case for no reason.

women in history have rarely got ahead by blah blah blah

you know that bumper sticker about women 'behaving'... is so annoying. I would like to know who they speak of. Because whenever I read it, I think its about women who are bad drivers and are proud of it, or women like Paris Hilton who embrace their internet videos and aren't 'afraid to make fun of themselves'.

I'm not above reading celebrity gossip garbage. here in an interview with Paris Hilty on the Fix. My favorite exchange:

AP: Do you read blogs?

Hilton: What's that?

AP: Um, they're these things on the Internet where people write about news and stuff.

Hilton: No, I don't really read anything on the Internet except my AOL mail. I don't like people who sit on computers all day long and write about people they don't know anything about.

AP: What did you want to be when you were a little girl?

Hilton: A veterinarian, but then I realized I could just buy a bunch of animals.

well if I could afford a gaggle of miniature puppies. maybe I wouldn't have this pastime of contemplation on the net.

layed out.

My parents along with Sis#1 came to the football game this weekend. We only had two girls so that meant I got to showcase my talent. In my family, there is a strong bart and lisa archeotype for me and my baby bro. Naturally trying to disprove that I am any less of an athlete, I was floored and bounced by a guy on the other team who was performing a lateral pass backing into me. He was so huge I couldn't even see that the ball was even still in play- so naturally I was motionless in getting out of his path. I don't know what happened but when I looked at the ref from the ground, my body accidentally got up instead of just my soul and I resumed play. From the way my teammates described it; one of my legs was up in the air as I flew back and landed with my head hitting the ground twice. Then we ate my kick ass burgers.

Let me tell you the bruising is bad today. Steady dosing of aleve, and pretty soon some Irish cream. I just want to sit here sprawled on the couch and not move. Earlier Housemate pointed out the best Hampden outfit ever while I wrestled with my groceries-- it hurt my aching bruised ribs and knees so terrible-like. The more I resisted the more it hurt the more I laughed like that dude on the roof in Mary Poppins. If you know me, you know I get these fits. I hate to laugh at somebody else's style but lady was rocking it. She had a blue bandana (rambo style). Grey sweatpants, hiked up to the newly fashionable gaucho length. A white sweatshirt with 3 bad-ass illustrated kitties on the front, and their respective butts on the back. and the topper- ankle-length sports socks (no shoes). And let me tell you she was strutting her way right into Rofo. I guess people laugh at me on my ice-cream runs too.

The Euphoria film was pretty doggone inspiring. I could have used it two years ago.

The lady with the golden arm

In the immortal words of Ice Cube, "Today was a good day".
I got to work on some materials for the local news radio station and make some much needed dough. That made me feel good about advertarding. I was surprised to find noone else in the office listens. I had to describe what a "driveway moment" was. They experienced it listening to Rush. Whoa.

Then, I learned a new thing about googling. Wildcard searches. I love learning! This has maximized my detectivability in finding crap out about people.

Then, I won a photo contest at Atomic Books for taking a picture with a book in it. I love winning! I got a pro flickr account that I will be using this weekend as soon as Target locates my pictures.

The Md Film Fest kicks off tonight. Two summers ago I helped out on this movie. It promises to be good, and it may be my gold-painted arm's two second cinematic debut.

cinco de cinco de cinco

La cosa que bueno de "cinco de mayo", es cuando estas escribando las emails, puedes usar "hasta loogie", y es mucho hilariouso-- ¡cada vez!

despues de trabajar, voy a tener una cerveca con mi amigas.

¡hasta loogie!

What holding pattern are you in?

I wrote a beautifully articulated story about how I scrimp and save money on tuna and chicken fried rice, and how I found an ant in my bed and how I was going to "go out and blow out", which I decided is ®[read trademarked brethren], .and blogger didn't save it as a draft, as I requested. We've all had that happen huh? Its part of the blogosphere.

News for the weekend: biggest football game ever. Read: dad at first sporting event ever. Parental support in the 20-30's?

wow. exactly how I feel after the Towson Target lost my photos.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Striding along the cliffs, attacking with a studded crowbar, cometh Officewizard! And she gives a low grunt: "I'm going to bludgeon you so painfully, your blood will flow counter-clockwise!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

courtesty myspace msmith

you can do it.

I need to be more like Lucy. She abuses her brother and her love interest, and is successfully self-employed helping others for .05 a session. Today was a bad day on the field. Captain My Brother called me off the field midplay- immediately channeling that physical education feeling of being last draft. In case you're wondering, age doesn't protect you from these elementary feelings of rejection. So, as the game was closing out to be a loss, I left. my life is chock-full of contention.

the apology call came later after their trip to the bar. I realized I was in a half hour long heated conversation about the shortcomings of our team (soar losers), and my "coed social football league needs". He was hearing me on it- what a good little listener he is. He must be the Lucy.

now back to Cabin Boy.

Hampden KABLOOEY!

Working from home today, I just ignored the door buzzer while on the phone with a client. I moved to the porch. I notice a cop running through the back alley.

At the end of the porch I see the street blocked off by a policecar. A policeman tells me to come back inside and outfront. I clearly am panicked that some psycho-deranged crack addict is in my apartment and is going to strangle me with my stupid PC DSL cord while I am en route picking up my keys, and shoes, and wallet. In the hall, my upstairs neighbor is clammoring downstairs telling me not to go outside because theres a suspicious package. I didn't need to know anymore.

I'd been staring at this package from my bed for a week.

It never once occurred to me to place an anonymous call to the bomb squad (who incidentally has a huge tour bus). I tried to step off my porch to approach them and they wouldn't have it and came over. I explained that it had been there a while and before that one there were others. The owner of Cafe HOn also said that she had seen plenty of bags around- full of clothes. We explained this was a common occurence. Homeless people use it as a changing post for some reason. The bomb-squad guy seemed bewildered and embarrassed and said, "well, we got the call, and we were just responding, maam". Thanks for looking out, gov. It seems silly that anyone would want to bomb or anthrax sweet ol Hampden right?

The disturbing thing is how anyone else can see the bag but little old me?


KABLAM!

house of d

Going to Muvico tonight to see an advanced screening of House of D.

Last night we booked for this Music Midtown in Atlanta. Just because I wasn't poor enough and don't get enough Def Leopard. Trips help me with my life-changing decisions. So, thats how I have to keep justifying it.

Finally, the Pink Panther is in involved in the sciencelab to help us discover what we know about our musical memory. So its like an auditory gestalt principle. I could have told you that one, Einstein.

bovine revolt

Pikesville, MD 4/26/2005 -Baltimore Sun


I wouldn't be surprised if this is part of the MD State lottery campaign.


"I like this couch, a lot! Oh wait -- maybe I like this one better. No,
this one is the best. Forget it -- I hate all of them."
I read this article today about Lucky magazine. More reasons I need to get the hell out of advertising. Some old fart claimed to have founded the "magalog", stating "They have a kind of punk-rock quality of rebellion to them". um. nothing is punk rock about shoveling 5 pages of slingbacks into someones lap. Mainstream culture has such a love affair with punk-rock culture, I don't understand how people who genuinely have a punk rock state of mind can actually carry a very popularly defined punk rock image. what am I saying I dunno. Anyway. The woman who wrote the article introducing me to the whole "he's just not that into you phenom." well he's not. Its easier to get over that way. you know. whatever get over it.

destination procrastination

I have sat down 4 hours ago to begin invoicing that I need if I want shelter. Things I've done instead are: 3 40 minute phone calls, an hourlong advice session with the housemate, drilling hooks into wood, reading every blog entry across the nation, and now finally creating my own very uninspired blog entry.

After yesterdays entry (from the cold spring coffeeshop), and a long and tired journey to my bed- I laid my head on my pillow that was ever so vaguely damp. Druel (sp?) was quickly ruled out. My bed had been pissed on by a very enamored or pissed off pup. That made me feel like real caca. Crying myself to sleep and so forth, I had a dream that after a football game I called out a girl on the other team for intercepting 2 balls with her "tit-tays". As I walked away from the play, it occurred to me I didn't know her very well to be speaking that way. Shortly after, the ref came over to tell me that I had been disqualified from playing anymore football games for my conduct. I explained that I was trying to be funny, but he wouldn't hear it. I was ostracized by my team and I felt like it was the end of the world and that I would kill myself if I couldn't play with my team. I woke up and realized how much team sports mean to me. In a bigger awareness, I realized that I am not always the loner I think I am. Then on an even more meaningful tangent, I realized that Yoda sounds like Gonzo.

wed-ding

there are so many comments about this weeks marathon wedding event for Friend 1994, I need to list it numerically as an aid to my strange headache.

1. It actually was great and rewarding despite all the bitchy sounding numbers that shall ensue.

2. Pedicures are the bomb.

3. Beautyshop for hairstyling are not.

4. Limos are getting less exciting but nonetheless, the best way to enjoy 92Q.

5. I gave a speech at the rehearsal dinner to nearly 100 of the bride and grooms family. It turned into a roast, which seemed intriguing-if I'd been prepared. Every table was encouraged to share a memory. The sister was an emotional mess, and I got thrown "you've known her the longest."

Two glasses of wine had me feeling pretty fine so I snapped up to the podium where my hands began trembling- preoccupying me more than the crowd. This has always what has gripped me in the performance arena. Not the people, but the blushing and physical seizing. I had a great open, seg, and closer that were pretty natural (my 9th grade partially deaf speech teacher would have been proud).

Afterwards I coudn't help thinking the story may have not been appropriate, even though the grooms party congratulated me for my words and I got some laughs. (true power I have to say). The laughs could have been the "you make us uncomfortable" canned laughter and clapping variety. It was about the plays she had performed throughout grade school- Helen Keller the wonderful line"wa-wa", and a public service announcement for teen suicide that had the greatest deadpan delivery. Just typing it makes me realize they are "had to be theres". The bride liked it. thats all that matters right?

6. At the end of the night I had the classic responsIble drinkers decision, where shall I sleep and who shall drive my drunkass to that location. Choices:


A. The groomsmen suite- where the latenight party was resuming.

b. Friend 1993's house nearby, on the floor of the baby's room.


This is where a couple of cynical lines about being a bitter single soon 30-turning lady attending buttloads of weddings, would fit nicely. Instead I say, outside of that mysteriously fizzing drink I was handed at the hotel, I am on the road to making the right choices.

Points of Interest

Hi-ho I'm a midnight blogger.

Link 1 my mommy sent me, to send to my sisters who are on the dark side. She can be such an instigator. Its called Bushs speechwriter, and if you are a person who loses hours of time on fridge magnet poetry, beware- its that kind of random perfection addiction. I saved one called "dawn operation iraqi and II". The first one was really bad. but after checking the site out, load Jimmys "I like to shit", he did a darn good job.

Link 2 I heard these prank phone calls a long time ago and was recently reunited with the source. Highly recommended are wizard of war, rope, and coaxial flutter.

Bigger Bovine

After a faith-based identity crisis last year, I thought it would be good to go to this place last fall. To catch up on the mortality that had escaped me through my early 20s. Thats where I remembered that I have a really hard time paying attention to really long mechanical explanations.

Today, while browsing the science headlines Fermilab Experiment To Beam Neutrinos Through Dairyland, I could recall this as one of the few udderly amazing projects I gleened from the tour. Sub-atomic collisions underneath natural wildlife- (this blows my mind). this time, all the way from Chicago to Wisconsin. If I could get an explanation of neutrinos in my lifetime, I could go out peacefully knowing about my existence.

Then I thought about the science mission from last summer that went awry in the desert in Arizona where two helicoptors with a giant butterfly net were scheduled to intercept a probe that had been sent to space to collect solar dust, and somebody forgot to carry a one, and it shattered to bits penetrating deeply into earth, inversly, causing my taxes to skyrocket back into outer space. WHICH finally, brings me to some pretty alarming social commentary:

With all this scientific testing happening in the middle of the country why do you think there's so many red states????

Big Bovine

Sometimes, life and current affairs align, and I don't have to write about a bachelorette party.

Last night, my American-Italian friend brought over the very curious How To Get Ahead in Advertising, which reminded me of a very incident that happened during football this weekened. More on the movie later- it ties back in I promise, I think.

This weekend over football(3-1), the fields at Patterson Park were packed to the gills due to the extremely beautiful weather. Our team was one of many grilling out watching other football games. Someone a few yards over on another team pointed out a very slow moving cow mascot converging between two of the fields to the center diamond. We speculated that someone had really taken the league too seriously, when we saw 3 more coming from another location. Its 2 in the afternoon and its 80 degrees. Wierd. So one of the cows comes up to our sprawl and does its mascot mime thing- giving out only a keychain with a cute little cow (with mind control or milk?) with only this link written on it. My brother determined that it must of been a guy as only a few of the girls on the team were offered a keychain and he was skipped over. We offered him a beer, which he put in his cow felt bag and waved good-bye.

Today at the weekly, we checked out the website and still there is no indication what all this propaganda was about. Government control? Buttercup? Herd poison? Obvious addy awards for 2005? But further investigation pulled up this. Just google it. there is a lot of talk and its local. kind of freaks me out that there is a meeting for the future. I don't care if its just chic-fil-a.

Anyway. that brings me back to the big brother and How to Get Ahead in Advertising. That movie disturbed me greatly. For reasons besides the frequent exchange with a boil. 1. I swear that Charlie Kaufman must have wrote it- or used it as a bible. 2. I believe that the whole truwth campaign was lifted from it. boy I can get fired on that one. It really got the old blood boiling about the business(pun fully intended). Which then led me to a summary of the upcoming release of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, where earthlings accidentally "naturally select"- instead of the doctors and scientists, car salesman and advertisers. pretty funny stuff. If anyone has a copy of this book to lend me -twould be great. There was a big brother tie in somewhere but I lost it. dAmnIT.

my favorite face

Today I post from a pc, and no fair, they have formatting buttons! I always knew that about PCS in hotmail etc. but I forgot til now and I feel cheated. I paid more!

Sometimes, when I know a person really well, and that person has a tendency towards shyness and modesty, I know how to say something (usually personal or complimentary), and they give a sideways smile that you know they are trying to conceal, but they know you know that too, and then they keep smiling that way. I will add the hallmark logo to that later.

spoken like a true yearbook entry

last night was a bachelorette party for my oldest high school bud. I got to see all the old girls from the Burnie of Glen getting as wild as ever. (3 babies can do that to a lady of 28).

My release agreement has me binded against relaying any debaucherous detail. But I will yield one life lesson from it: when you play field hockey in high school, the girl who passes you an assist, will continue to do so if she stays a lifelong friend. Spiker gets the game ball.

k.i.t.
xoxo
b.f.f.
d
yankees rule.

squeeze filiblog aborted

I made the mistake of talking about the song I was supposed to talk about today, yesterday, and frankly I am hungover, and its not funny to me anymore. one more entry might have made it work.

I am freelancing today on a station that is using 9 and Intronet Explunger and it causes some wacked up shtine. the Eebmore website is yellow on yellow. and blogger has all these extending white bars. and I can't even preview this entry. what the?

Last night was a whirlwind that turned out to be the advertisio awards. I talked to an old coworker who has the amazing ability to belt out some very insensitive shit in his race to beat me to the kids, house and home. I thought he was the culprit behind the bad breath I kept smelling. it was so bad, and each time it had the same awfulness that kept making me think of the word 'defenestration'. which I just looked up- and thats the greatest word definition ever:

Main Entry: de·fen·es·tra·tion
Pronunciation: (")dE-"fe-n&-'strA-sh&n
a throwing of a person or thing out of a window

but you knew that didn't you smarty? ok smarty. so then after much other stuff that I can't express now, I landed at the tavern where I thought I would have the conversation I love to speculate with others over when I am tipsish, where I try to convince the person I am talking to that I am Irish, but my teeth are african. Last night the person I tried to convince was 100% African and he assured me that my teeth were mental.

squeeze filliblog

british nestle bar reprise

Todays news about Squeeze includes my downloading from itunes the underappreciated track- "hourglass". If you think you don't know it-- You are underestimating your 80s knowledge. And of course, I just found it for free for you on the net. grumble grumble.

Another unbelievable hit that you won't find on Singles is "I've Returned", which everytime I hear, I think it could be the soundtrack for T.C. Boyle's Water Music

I can' remember what happened in Mr. Smith goes to Washington and I am tired of doing my trivial research, but I do believe that Jimmy talked about whatever he wanted. Well I am going to keep it real even though I would like to speculate on the curious Spoon title, "My Mathematical Mind". a little nod and gesture and a wink to the oj's maybe? I'm also tired of the regurgitated ops.-- both Vanity Fair and salon have given it the Prince alignment. download the free track here.

i had some walnuts in my salad and Im having a reaction. this will resume tomorrow.

Points of Interest (view)- yes more with squeeze.

so if you haven't ran out to Walmart to get my birthday gift yet, here is what I would like instead. Look at that Tilbrook. He looks like a british nestle crunch bar.

it was brought to my attention that Good-bye Girl has been recently used in a commercial - that ran during the Miss Hon America at the Hippodrome. I'm not phased. The sellout frustration comes when I am listening to WOXY and this awesome Kings of Leon song comes on, and I think, "Why do I visualize incessant dancing and jumping around? well its because Volkswagon has attached an image to that song, to help me go buy an apartment or subwoofers. They own my pistol.

ok- beyond the music but back to the Miss America. Miss Gay Maryland is at the "Hippo". See they're gay, so its minus the drome. Get it?

Insane event that I came across at the weekly--with handheld instruments? provided. Whenever I enter these events I always picture the most diverse lot of people. Especially the "Q &A sessions with experts in fields like footcare". I always picture it turning into a support group for divorced people. I guess thats why the category is 'talks plus'. I love to comb them with my eyeballs.

Finally that last point of interest, goes to my favorite comic, who has so succintly captures underwater gracious disposal in the second panel.

I don't know I kind of like the idea of marathon blogging, or Filliblogging. I am going to google that phrase to see if its been done 'afore. Stay tuned for more on squeeze.

fluffernutters

The dangerous thing about drunk blogging is not the damage you do tearing up the internet highway like godzilla. It's the fact that you might drop your laptop in the toilet when you pass out and fall off.

I don't know how gbv ended up in that last entry. It meant to be all about singing "Sunlight on the Lotto(sic)" over Glen Tilbrook's shoulder, and becoming a member of the sexy backing band.

tilbrook v. pollard (total rant)

hello. i just touched tilbrook and guitar. and I have to say from it. that the gbv experience, and every experience associated with it can go to hell. it made all modern day rock music seems so negative and mean. especially the ones who think rock stars equal fucking modern day erudites ie, soma thse brooklyn babies. I don't need some rock and roll phenom to tell me to hate djs. in fact any band that suggests that djs are a piece of shit can suck any cell that might have turned into my left nut because I don't give a fuck how important your god damn original rock music is- I want to celebrate the music I like, and as BIlly Joel exclaims so successfully, this is my life, so go suck an undeveloped cell.

ok. deep breath after that one. I know I lost a lot of talking points there- but its not worth it. because I would rather relive the awesomeness of g. and the fluffers doing the hits. "good-bye girl", the soooo bittersweet " up the junction" , and most essentially, "tempted by the fruit". a big sigh goes out. tilbrook, you know love. and I am not afraid to say that your bass player, she is sexy. and your keyboarder too. and if I was you I would be rocking it the same way. love up to squeeze.

federal hill, happy birthday baby brother I missed you.

I don't want to speculate. I just want to calculate.

The tax preparer didn't include any of my office expenses. That was the only relief. The occupation field said: "graffic". When we entered the new figures, he was yelling, "C'mon computer!" as he frantically clicked next to the scroll down button. Finally, a certificate for 'training in real estate' was featured prominently on his desk. I'm still sweating. He did compliment the print out I compiled of all my expenses.

He warned me about heightened IRS enforcement because of these Tax prep programs. He suggested that I take a photo of my office, in case the IRS show up at my door. I can hand that to them. and run.

IRS, Heres my work.


DSC00201
Originally uploaded by owizard.

Cell Block Section 179

H+R Block hit me with the devastating news. What percentage do people pay in taxes anyway?? Seriously. Is it 30% in a low- medium income bracket. thats what I thought. I'm not giving up half. Seriously. Apparently aside from the headache, there is a penalty for not filing estimated quarterly-- and they hit you both at the state and Federal. But whats another $500 really? I am lost and every year I get more lost in a jungle full of 40' tax forms that tower over me and consume me between the carbon sheets.

Wouldn't it be great if instead of opting to pay your taxes you could jump in the bullring for 15 minutes and entertain the Department of the Treasury?

A smart person once showed me how to make decisions in my life saying you have to look at the most important options to you, deduce, and keep going down the list. So here they are:

Important decisions: dealing with the IRS.
a. Flee to Canada where Sloan has asked ME to be friends on myspace!

b. Go to that sweet white collar prison where Martha went.

wow. that helped. life's looking up already with these choices.